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You may not approve, but swearing is actually older than time itself.

The breakdown company couldn’t come out because they said my cover expired last October. I’d have to speak to Customer Service. Great.

I’m joining a club. Around one in three people in the UK are already members, so I shouldn’t feel that keyed up – let alone feel the need to blog about it. But I do.

Everyone knows that you don’t talk about ‘large ideas’. Escaped convicts are never described as being ‘at big’. But I’ve been wondering something. In all other instances, when should you say ‘large’? And when is ‘big’ better? Yes, this is what’s become of me.

You can imagine how cringingly gloatful we were when santaclaus global enterprises invited us to hue from our raw imagination their brand guideline. Frankly, we wept.