The Santa Brand

Simon 5:10 pm, Dec 6th 2010

There are brands. There are super-brands. And then there’s this brand. You can imagine how cringingly gloatful we were when santaclaus global enterprises invited us to hew from our raw imagination their brand guidelines. Frankly, we wept. Click the image below and you can read it and weep too.

If you have any further insight into the brand, which may help us with future manifestations, please leave your comment below. And if you know anyone who should be made to jump through these kind of brand hoops, send them an email and invite them to take a look.


72 responses
  1. Alastair says:

    You have brought joy to the world. I think we’re all really scared of leaving a comment in case we don’t get any presents…but if there’s a better brand brief anywhere just smother it with brandy butter and I’ll eat it.

  2. Robye says:

    Ho Ho Ho!!!! In reciprocation, I wish ‘The Santa Brand’ [and everyone at Quiet Room] a spirit-filled Christmas and an intoxicating Newy Year :-)

  3. Math says:

    You made my day!

    Ho ho ho

  4. Ashley says:

    I love this work!
    Probably even funnier when you work on brand books like this for real clients!
    Congratulations, I actually lol at this

    Happy Christmas

  5. Jemma says:

    This is definitely the best set of brand guidelines I have ever seen!

  6. WillElf says:

    Jolly jollificatory.

    the rich Mr Fat-Ass

  7. Charles says:

    Funny and painfully accurate representation of the total bollocks that branding is. The only thing is, er, aren’t you a branding agency? Or are you just turkeys voting for Christmas?

  8. will says:

    Ha Ha Ha. Ho Ho Ho. Lots of larfs on this in our agency in oz!!

  9. Jason says:

    Brilliant – that is all.

  10. Neil says:

    Excellent, really enjoyed it!

  11. Mike Reed says:

    This is the sort of idea that many might have, but few could pull off well. You’ve pulled it off brilliantly, with some absolutely inspired touches. ‘Too deep / Too crisp / Even’ for example, and the Venn diagrams are superb. Many congratulations. Santastic.

  12. andrew says:

    Very very funny. I love the curve of credulity.

  13. Ed Staples says:

    Beautifully done

  14. Jennifer says:

    Pure genius!!! Made me cry with laughter.

  15. alessandra says:

    congratulations, this is absolutely brilliant, Merry Xmas

  16. Ed Staples says:

    Beautifully done.

  17. Rose says:

    Brilliant brand guidelines – will look out for an opportunity to recommed you…

  18. Tom says:


    Does *Santa* have a website where I can submit a present request?

  19. ALC says:

    I so wish this was available in actual brand book form. It would make a brilliant stocking stuffer for many of my communicator pals! (And only a few of them, blissfully, slip into speaking the language of the branding they’re involved with …)

  20. Lisa Kanter says:

    Thank you, whoever made this. Absolutely sarcastic and hilarious.

  21. Sarah says:

    This made my morning. I’ve reread this 3 times now and I’m still chuckling. Brilliant.

  22. Anika says:

    Hilarious, thanks so much for this!

  23. [...] all those people rushing around over the next few days. We suggest you read The Santa Brand Book swiss miss calls it one of the funniest branding spoofs they’ve come [...]

  24. [...] for Quietroom that creatively spread the joy of Christmas with this brand book. I don’t know whether you [...]

  25. Carl says:

    Amazing! well done and happy christmas

  26. Matt says:

    If Santa was a holiday it would be Easter. F@cking brilliant.

  27. Andy says:

    Love it!!!!! Great work. Santa, God, Socialism graph. Thats me. Not old to enough to get to the God increase yet but i’lll take your word for it.

  28. adi_ponton says:


    You made my day!

  29. Roland says:

    You had me in stitches. At work, no less.

    I *never* laugh at work.

    Any openings at your place?

  30. Barbara says:

    Genius. Much hilarity. Thank you.

  31. Richard says:

    An excellent work of creativity, humour, and branding. Richard :)

  32. Jim says:

    Indiscribably brilliant! I’ve forgotten (as my clients have) the number of brand guidelines I’ve pulled together over the years but can honestly say none were as well concieved (or as funny) as these. Top work!

  33. Brilliant!

    Merry Christmas

    Mark Gallagher
    Brand Expressionist®

  34. pkerwood says:

    Joy to the world wide web! Your Santa brand guidelines are awesome!

  35. StudioDino says:

    Bravo. The small print/side notes are hilarious.

  36. Mandy Nelson says:

    He he! Still cracking up over the *Santa* brand book. Glad you lot are on the other side of the world or you might be competition to my branding agency here in New Zealand.

  37. Helen Keyes says:

    Thank you. I’m sitting in NYC enjoying some lovely British humor. Esp. love that Brian Blessed made it to Santa’s ‘space’.

    Happy Holidays!


  38. Awesome work – thank you for sharing. Made me laugh so much!

  39. David C says:

    Brilliant. Thank you for making us all laugh our heads off for the last half an hour.

  40. John Shepherd says:

    Brilliant – though frankly I would have put Anne Widdecombe much further to the right on the beardiness scale.

  41. Tom Yencho says:

    Wow. Kudos on not only a job well done, but for reminding us communications folk how much fun our jobs could–and should–be!

  42. susanna says:

    Absolutely genius!

  43. Andrew Sykes says:

    I am woried that no mention was made of a certasin Spanish bank trying to infiltrate the brand by using giant lego and Lewis Hamiltion.
    And in these equality times why no mention of his gay brother, Santa Fé?

  44. Catherine Chapman says:

    Excellent viral marketing…I’ve now found your agency! Brilliant execution! Particularly like the ‘who’s occupying Santa’s space?’ diagram featuring Ann Widdecombe!

  45. Kelly says:

    I haven’t been able to stop talking about the Santa Brand Book since I got it yesterday. Pure genious! Love, Love, Love it!

  46. Soraya says:

    Fantastic. My favourite was the page of mandatory venn diagrams. LOL! Merry Christmas

  47. Alex Edouard says:

    Nice. Shouldn’t that be ‘Santa SANS Serif’ though?

    Yeah, I know . . bah humbug etc.

  48. Lauren says:

    I love it – insightful, inspired, and plain hilarious. Please animate it and load it up to youtube as a slide show. I’d love to email a video link to all my contacts!

  49. [...] not quite sure how I came across this most hilarious post today from The Quietroom, but I’m really glad I did — for several reasons. First (and most obviously) it’s [...]

  50. Absolutely brilliant! Bravo!

  51. Tim Haveron Jones says:

    Truly brilliant, guys – well done indeed!

    I note that five of the profile photos on your website show clear evidence of beard growth. Now that really IS living the brand! I hope that your clients at santaclaus inc appreciate your commitment….

  52. Jon Elliman says:

    Genius. And also depressingly familiar. Merry Christmas!

  53. Dan says:

    Made me laugh so much that a little bit of tea came out my nose.

    (Just to be clear, I was drinking tea at the time.)

  54. E.S. says:

    Good work Cratchit. Take Saturday off.

  55. FunkyPuma says:

    hohoho, grat job! ironic but kind of truth :P

  56. iamkeir says:

    Is it possible to buy this as a book/magazine? It’s a work of pure genius!

  57. Steve says:

    Hagrid – Entering our reputational space!

    Love it!

  58. Lin says:

    made me laugh out loud. Make sure you enter it in D&AD!

  59. Tea says:

    Just to point out a mistake – “atnas” is definitely not a chimney in Lithuanian. Chimney is called “kaminas”. “Atnas” doesn’t mean anything in Lithuanian. Otherwise, it was very funny and inspiring :)

  60. Jestyn says:

    Rock on!

    Any time anyone tells me they need a brand book, all I’ll have to do is pull this out… Argument finished.

  61. David says:

    Genius! Here is the perfect CEO interview to go with it:

  62. Tom says:

    Awesome, love it.

  63. Mark says:

    so good, so very good. The pretence & conciet are so familiar, painfully funny

  64. Tom says:

    Congrats and a very merry New Year, thanks for this excellently done work. The curves summed up the human condition, with god and socialism crossing at ethical crisis and then again at mid-life crisis. Who needs soul-wrenching novels when all so neatly summarized? Wish you lots more fun in 2011, which starts with the snakiness of politicsand austerithy, rolls its way through a well-rounded royal wedding O and ends with only 2 stumps left standing for the Aussie cricket team again.

  65. [...] Santa Brand Book is kind of amazing. This entry was written by Courtney, posted on December 20, 2010 at 8:00 am, [...]

  66. James Sheehy says:

    Fucking awesome.

  67. [...] wrote a quick blog post called “Does Your Brand have a Brand Book?“ in response to The Santa Brand Book from Quietroom. Since then, that post has been the most frequently visited post on the Finding [...]

  68. [...] neat manual parody is doing the rounds from the Quietroom that parodies the medium via new client Father [...]

Leave a comment

(won't be published)

* required


Our work with
Our work with Which?

How we helped a consumer champion build a brand as strong as its heritage

more >
Our work with
Our work with PruHealth

How we helped a health insurer reposition itself as a health improver

more >
Image alt